Is President Trump a Witch?

I just realized we’ve all been asking Trump the wrong questions.

We should be asking him,

Do you believe you’re a witch?

I could take the traditional route, pioneered by “Monty Python”.

One of his biggest supporters is a Newt.  POTUS is a pretty large guy, and as we all know fat floats. So, right away that really rules out anything that has to do with small rocks, ducks, etc.

But… “Monty Python” was also a comedy troupe, and we want to use some real-life logic here.

So here’s the fairly simple to follow basis for the question.

  1. The President clearly believes that investigations into the Trump Campaign working with Russia to influence the US elections is a witch hunt. He’s said it many times. This is a FACT.
  2. Since it’s been proven at this point that the Trump Campaign did have contact with Russia in some manner, Trump must believe that witches do exist.
  3. The President believes that he is the ultimate target of this hunt, unless he is referencing another Trump when he speaks about, “Trump”.  (We’ll concede it’s possible he’s not talking about himself in the 3rd person, but it seems unlikely.)
  4.  Finally, while only semi-related, President Trump speaks or at least types in tongues. We all know you can’t be a witch without practicing witchcraft. Much of his speeches are rambling and incoherent, and then there’s this Tweet, that nobody in this world has been able to figure out.

 

That may not seem like much, but you must admit it’s pretty damning evidence that he does, in fact, believe he’s a witch.

The question now is, what do we do with this information?  Is this just a new normal?  Is it just another unprecedented event in the Trump era?  Should we celebrate our first witch president?!?!  Long live Witch Trump!

Related Articles

What do you think?